Life Experience vs The Tabloids

Throughout my blog I want to express my opinions. They may not be the same as your ideas or beliefs and no doubt there is a good rationale behind how you think. But given this blog is about my midlife adventure, in all it’s diversities, I feel the need to be honest and express my viewpoints.
Opinion is personal and we are fortunate enough to live in a democratic country where personal expression is allowed and not illegal. However it is important that, if I’m going to dedicate a third of my site to opinion, that I explain where my opinion comes from. I like to centre my opinion on personal life experience.

During my midlife I’ve begun to look more consciously at the world around me and to realise that people’s opinions are often formulated upon what they read, have been taught or been brought up with and not what they have actually experienced. In this current climate often what they read is in the media, in all it’s now wonderful formats. I find it quite frightening that tabloid newspapers both in paper format and on line can influence people’s opinions so dramatically. It’s incredibly sad that some of our younger generation are reading and believing what they see on line. I’m not saying that everything that is written in the tabloids or on social media is untrue but I would suggest that a lot of it is completely unfounded and not based upon truth at all, merely media speculation and the need to dramatise events to sell papers and magazines.

As part of my midlife I am making a concerted effort to formulate views based upon true life experience. As I explain in more detail in a later post “How did I get here?” I was brought up on a council estate but attended senior school at the Girls Grammar School in the local town having passed my 11+, something that in my teenage years (1976-1981) meant I experienced social prejudice.
Don’t get me wrong I wasn’t the only person in my year group in this social class but we were definitely in the minority. Living in a council house held a stigma, our parents weren’t doctors, dentists or bankers and as such I wasn’t seen as a prospective friend for their middle class raised daughters and certainly wasn’t invited to their birthday party.
I did make friends with girls from other social classes who accepted me for who I was but even then when their parents dropped me off from visiting their house, I always got them to drop me by the private housing estate and then when they had driven off I’d sneak across the road and take the cut through back home.
The mother of my second boyfriend when I was 17/18 blatantly told her son I was not good enough for him because of my poor background. Yes social class was alive and well in the countryside at this time!

Later in life I discovered a new manifestation of social prejudice, that of being a single parent.
By moving back to Gloucestershire I suddenly found myself in a world where I was once again different to all the other Mums at the school gates. They were all stay at home Mums either because they were lucky enough to have husbands who earned enough money to allow them a standard of living whereby they could stay at home and bring up the family or they were living on benefits and had little or no choice but to stay at home.
So here I was again presenting myself as different- a working single mother with a career and a live in au pair. It became apparent only too quickly that the school had never had to deal with this situation before. They didn’t understand the need, for example, until I pointed it out to them, that notifying me 7-10 days beforehand that an important event such as parents evening was taking place was insufficient notice for me to sometimes get cover at work to attend.
I still remember one parent governor coming up to me on sports day and saying “I’ve heard so much about you, its admirable that you have a career whilst also being a Mum but don’t you think its unfair on your children not to have a parent at home and picking them up every day?” I remember being astounded by her comment, that without doubt came from a complete lack of understanding of my position. Who did she think was going to pay my mortgage if I didn’t work?

Being a single working Mum wasn’t best received in my working life either. There was no allowance made for it. If I wanted to pursue my career then I had to operate alongside all the guys whose wives happily stayed at home keeping the house running, washing and ironing their shirts, looking after their children and not blinking an eyelid when a meeting was changed at less than a day’s notice to another area of the country. Staying away for the night was nigh on compulsory in these circumstances and they saw it as a great opportunity for a good jolly away from their wives. I lost count how many times I stood in hotel bars listening to male colleagues talking about football, cricket and other male dominated leisure activities which sometimes included chatting up (and pursuing) other women in the bar with no regards to the wedding ring which may or may not be still on their finger!
There was no females employed above me. It was tough finding my way and constantly competing. I basically wore two hats that were interchangeable in my car morning and night -Manager and Mum.

When I express my opinions, I’m not looking for arguments or debate I’m merely getting on with my life in my own way.
I often share my views on places and eateries visited on Tripadvisor and you can follow us @amidlifeadventures. I also mention information sources, where I feel relevant. This is merely for information and not promotion purposes.