Making Sense of Life in Midlife

I’ve not posted anything onto my blog for nearly two months. My whole motivation has failed me, the words didn’t even accumulate in my brain much less make themselves to the page. I guess for a full time author/writer this must be what “writers’ block” feels like. It’s only now that I’m actually able to make sense of this break from my blog.

I thought I had life down to a tee and then suddenly I was thrown into a maelstrom and found myself inside a “life tornado” that was both unexpected and harder than I thought to get out of. Getting life back on track has been both demanding and at times saddening. Before 2024 I probably considered myself somewhat invincible in so much as I could normally deal with anything that life threw at me. But life sometimes has a way of stopping us in our tracks and reminding us that none of us are in fact invincible, in fact we are anything but.

Every member of my close family had emotional demands placed upon them at some point last year. New challenges to overcome, new perspectives to find and above all else greater strengths to muster in order to move on with their lives. For once in 2024 I had found myself at a loss to bounce back.
As the year drifted towards it’s fruition I couldn’t find the energy or impetus to write posts, travel planning slipped into the background and I even lost interest in Christmas which for me has always been a major part of my annual calendar. The build up of seeking out presents to suit friends and family, the dressing of the tree and house with lights and decorations, preparation for key events during this holiday season, it all just swept past me. I hate the fact that all those familiar family rituals are disappearing as my children head out into the world and make lives for themselves. Other parents in similar situations turn this into a positive and go off to other countries and climates to pursue their own plans, ideas and adventures but this just didn’t appeal. I think deep down I thought that if I railed against it enough everything would eventually become right but alas it did not.

All these different issues were still spinning around me on New Years Eve and I actually put my faith in the idea that we would wave goodbye to all of the stress, emotion and chaos that has ensued and start a new more joyous year in 2025 but no life just sent us another piece of bad news that actual night. When was this ever going to end? More disappointing news followed a couple of weeks ago and I got to a point where I just felt so lost and angry. I wanted to stand in the garden and just rail at the universe!

How do you get back on track I asked myself when the tornado just keeps spinning?

Despite lacking the motivation to pack the suitcases and head to the train station for a pre planned trip to the Caribbean to celebrate my birthday, I went through the motions. It sounds mad but at the time I just couldn’t have cared less whether I got on the train or not.

However the change of scenery and pace of life is definitely helping. I’ve had time to step off the roundabout and just breathe. I have spent some time going back over some of my personal posts that I’ve created, written and posted in particular one called “The Philosophical Me” –https://amidlifeadventure.org/2023/03/07/midlife-the-philosophical-me/
Being here has enabled me to embrace the escapism, to take time to realise just how fortunate I am to even be here in the sunshine. I’ve read intensely and actually felt the stories written upon the pages rather than just consuming the print. I’ve binge watched a favourite Netflix series, caught up on some of my subscription magazines that were just stacking up in the corner of “the den” back home and enjoyed interacting with people from all walks of life.

Life is always going to throw us curve balls, there will always be lumps and bumps in the road but these are all part of this wonderful thing called “life”. I’ve subconsciously reminded myself that sometimes its good to stop and take a break, to take yourself away from the situation that is bearing down upon you, to take time to look at the view in front of you instead of looking behind you.
None of us can change the past we can only shape our future and then when we feel refreshed we are able to continue the adventure that is life. Life is ours today but tomorrow is promised to no man so I’m finding the joy in just living and breathing and appreciating all that I have. I’m beginning to feel that when I return home it will be with renewed vitality and a clearer mind.